I don’t care that I’m 24, I’ll always lift my hand toward an automatic door and pretend I have telekinetic powers.
One time, I was walking in to a store with my nephew (He’s 2 years old) where they had those types of doors, and I said:”I will need you to do me a favour…I need you to whisper alot of times the words ‘open please’ so the door opens…can you do that for me?” He looked at me, and then to my sister, and said:”…Mummy…Uncle Rich is too tired, can we just go in?”
I was like:”…you little shit…”
hey, i need to borrow that. *points to your chest*
yes, that. my new pillows.
Okay, but you have to give it back…people keep wanting them from themselves…
the good thing about me is that you can not talk to me for 3 weeks and then talk to me and I’ll be fine and still care about you the same way I did before
the bad thing is that I do that to people and they don’t understand that sometimes I just don’t feel like interacting with people.
story of my life
Cute fun nicknames for your significant other
- uh uh!
'no homo' god says as he puts the male g-spot up their anus
If someone calls you ‘ugly’ have a good comeback and say ‘excuse me, I am not a mirror’.